I want warning
A premonition of apocalyptic heartbreak on the horizon
One single shot over the bow of my frontal lobe that jars me
Some tingling, dear sixth sense, some tingling!
All of which I shall defy for love’s sake
Where is the ether of you
You cannot be nowhere
Yet, I cannot find you anywhere
Never by my side
Never to my rescue
Never where I need you
Always, those days and these
I live as a void, a vortex
Forever, a you-shaped yearning
Evidencing hope
There’s no better legacy
What pow’r, your footprint
A little paralyzed
Blinded still, at times
These days
Moments worth true gold
Become hours wayward spent
Making sense of eyes
Wond’ring of intentions
What culpability
What unseen brokenness
Finds my listless guitar
Nerves regenerated
Arising, free
For to tell me
Overthink no more
Allow me to wax poetic of him
That his shine be crystal clear
He said a forever kitchen from the start
I have his lyrical notes tattooed to prove it
Ask to see
Be willing to wonder whether
They tell the epic tale of the day he drove me to the dump
He wore big pink rain boots
How can you know?
He still feigns tears
Oh, codependent girl
You too will become tethered
First to his graces, then to his dust
Buried in grief, you’ll slip
And be giv’n only an ice storm
Unless
For he’s a literary literal tool
Throw him the bone he’ll throw you
Would that the way set before you
Become you
And not his another footpath
For some purpose, a scheme most grand
He, needing your needles now, whispers your alias
Loving only his broken-record voice
Revolutions — he cannot keep count anymore
I, with clean heart and tear-stained kitchen floors, no longer live to hear
My blessed middle name upon an Imposter’s lips
You and I, givers
Pawns in a taker’s desperate game
May you win with me
And apologize for what
The blessings unnoticed
The love debt, outstanding
The flesh gift, unopened
The mind’s galaxy, unexamined
And the words must be uttered
I’m sorry
Forgiveness, now granted
The eyes see the fire
The resolve, reignited
Pull us from slumber
From the numb into the now
This present moment
Family left longing
Tables for one
Festing less festive
Appointments to love
You missed
Less of your legacy
So much alone you left
I asked electrons keep me company
Come to my rescue
Subatomic somethings, surround me
