The drop
Atop the chim-chimney, in evening’s early hours
Slow, slowly down rock, round midnight
Absorbed then disbursed by the skin of the roof before dawn
Why, oh why, can gutters steal you by sunrise
The fall
The permission slip
Mine
That I didn’t need, first of all
You gave, then took away
Taunted me with it
Made me give chase
I, unsuccessful then
I, unaccounted for
Walked into class alone, second of all
A laughingstock in my own eyes
Proof, what proof
A zealot’s promise of protection
Why testify
Some purported outcome
Unauthenticated hearsay
An unreliable utterance
Ruled inadmissible
Privilege revoked
At the dawn of a new Day
A third, final blow
Dusty hands a must
No, never an implement
Shall separate me
It is being noticed, when you were standing alone, certain that the world was spinning but you were just here for the ride -or why else would you have grown to believe with absolute certainty that you’re invisible, without a reflection or the proof of a shadow- never having been looked at or looked for, during all the looking you’ve done…during all the helping you’ve done.
It is being helped, when you’ve only ever been the helper, parentrified at a tiny age -having done a damn good job at raising all the youngers who had no one else, and the olders who let you- and you look around, exhausted, spent and no childhood to show for it (just vague memories of kittens and roller skates and scars from some stitches you needed for cuts you earned trying to lift others out) and you now need a helping, loving hand.
It is being loved, by first being shown, by One who’s perfect, that you are accepted…by One who shouts throughout the heavens and Earth your worth…by One who bursts into your aloneness, touches your scars and redeems you from that place of invisibility and arrestedness…by One who delivers you from the sins you had to commit out of survival…by One who dies for you, because if you’re to fully understand your worth and become redeemed, that’s what is needed.
It is being needed, and knowing it is OK to need -since you are actual and not invisible, human and not God- and, deciding you have arms and time and heart to give, you’ll never again be diminished or depleted, for you know now your value and limits and you’ve found one who knows theirs, and there’s the give and the take extended, intended to honor you both.
That game
Of Life
I won
Back in late 1980-something
Which was
To be
For fun
You turned into a federal offense
Hear this
My rules
You’re done
You can no longer share My life
My time
Or be
My Sun
A woman who needs
May well be a court jester
A fool of a girl
Photo credit: Tiger R., age 7
I’ve come to decide
From necessity
The crickets’ cry of silence means
I’ve left my beloveds speechless
In the very best way possible
Stunned, like they’d just seen a light
Its source before now unknown
And decisions of whether to fear
Or to collaborate
Are yet unprocessed
Ev’ry step a mystery
Sometimes not the pretty type, but just a bloody mess
We each walk the same road, trying our utmost
And whether witness, victim, detective or criminal
We’re left watching, or seeking retribution, a solution or redemption
Hoping
Oft’ to no avail