Tutelage of Me

Gazing past you

Seeking solace in the wint’ry blue, that I might not be forced to look at you

Teacher
Distractor
Attempted diminisher

Before your tutelage of me, recall
Blank pages you were
Poor and lonely were you

Now, you’ve your green

What I was born with, you have stolen and will die with, you pray
But, we know what we know

As does God

Spilling Out

Imagine

Words building a ceiling
Slowly
Taking in hand an instrument
Carving in tender skin
Mantras
Misery you wouldn’t wish
Back upon the speaker
Tormented
Themself so clearly already
Spilling out is all they know

Survive

The Ask

I know what I want
Should I first ask to depose the light?

Let it chase me round and round
Me — play hard to get?

But at this point in human history
For what purpose?

With time unubiquitous
If not now, when?

With stars and firmament acting finite
To what end?

Shoeless

Let us understand the need

To scrub the endless grieving from one’s soul
Finally putting an end to such plague
To act as one’s own sage, and burn sage
Cleansing away for good any more weeping

Let us find a willingness

To pray for ourselves aloud, on our knees
Knowing we are our own savior sometimes
To be alright with alone
Because we are so tragically, entirely alone

At Heart

As a child, earnest
As a late-day water lily bloom
As a hopeless romantic

Thrive despite the shallow
Give the coolest shelter
Live to love and fight

To be free from such rules
To grow in the coming dark
To rise from it all each day

Darlin’ Dear

When I wronged her months ago
She spoke to my calamity
With kindness
With humility
To her surprise, she empowered me

My ego now in overdrive
We’d make the Thousand Mile Drive
And I’d stay silent, in my self-defense
And punish her for her offense
Of trusting me with honesty

She wanted what I’d promised us
My best from me

Instead I killed her, once back then
Plus each day since
Her, my best friend

Her ghost grieves to this very day
But I am okay
I walked away