Cooperation
on occasion
there was, I recall
With attention
— dare I mention —
to the most primal instinct of all
But love
what of love
thusly, here the poem ends
For one cannot
and one ought not
use, abuse, and pretend
August alone again, prove me wrong
Dreams turned to nightmares
Out of the woods now, but strictly ill-willed attackers want me
Or — what I can give them
Still, every day, I show up
Smiling
Asking for more
Only arms-length adorers greet me
A bridge they must cross
All I am is a testimony
You can survive
Chaos
Abandonment
Doormatism
Abuse
Abandonment
Abandonment
Abandonment
Just this one more line
Just this one more time
But I would have drowned
If you’d meant to change
If it were the day
Strength you should have found
Boundaries are most real
Boundaries helped me heal
Cross none sacred ground
“Be done leaving,” I’ve begged Time
Stop the silence
525600 minutes, almost now
Only just this morning
Done biding for unspoken goodbyes
I threw the clock out the door
Glass heart that it has
It’ll not show it’s square-jawed face
’round my gold again
Bled out, I still live
And see you direct the dark
And orchestrate sin
Doris, known to me
Classic, we women of yore
Allowing these men
Original Thought Credit: “To the woman, God said…he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16
I opened the door
My wishing is small white lies
Brutalizing me
I’m learning how to cry in deep despair and pour my blessed hot coffee at the very same time
Pain and gratitude in the same cup, indeed
I’m becoming better at praying goodness for others at my broken heart’s expense
Love and sacrifice from the same vein, it frees
I’m deciding to live with the dread of the box I was put into and with hope that I’ll one day be free
Abuse and healing in the same lifetime, glory

So there I was settin’ on the outside stair, put there as punishment, I guess
Though, unlike most youngsters, I didn’t know what I’d done wrong
Left out to live, exposing my skin and my heart to the harsh elements
An occasional smile from a passing turtle or bumble bee sustained me
Probably they spotted my deer-in-the-headlights desperation from afar
Speaking some kindness, they felt, wouldn’t hurt any
If only they knew, scarcity would have me hanging on their every glorious word
Writing of them, strangers, all these years and footsteps forward, later
Filling in the blanks left by the one who left me settin’, sad on the outside stair