This Cup

I’m learning how to cry in deep despair and pour my blessed hot coffee at the very same time

Pain and gratitude in the same cup, indeed

I’m becoming better at praying goodness for others at my broken heart’s expense

Love and sacrifice from the same vein, it frees

I’m deciding to live with the dread of the box I was put into and with hope that I’ll one day be free

Abuse and healing in the same lifetime, glory

Outside

So there I was settin’ on the outside stair, put there as punishment, I guess

Though, unlike most youngsters, I didn’t know what I’d done wrong

Left out to live, exposing my skin and my heart to the harsh elements

An occasional smile from a passing turtle or bumble bee sustained me

Probably they spotted my deer-in-the-headlights desperation from afar

Speaking some kindness, they felt, wouldn’t hurt any

If only they knew, scarcity would have me hanging on their every glorious word

Writing of them, strangers, all these years and footsteps forward, later

Filling in the blanks left by the one who left me settin’, sad on the outside stair

Haiku Dump: Saturday, March 11, 2017

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Should I be writing
The times I’m angry and lost
Readers deserve joy

Do speak albeit
From a position of pain
Compelled to not quit

I thought I’d progressed
But I’m back at the start point
Mired in pain again

FORGIVE its proper
Silence your pity party
You’re in pain so what

Ev’ry day I pray
Please God help me to forgive
Why’s He saying Shhhhhh

This daily cower
To the bully at the door
Must happen no more

Congratulations
Though I fear you I won’t cry
Business is business

Your barbs unending
Relativity is gone
Anyone dissent

Antagonism
Why do you sit on that perch
Gives me a headache

Negative thinkers
Will call themselves realists
Seems like a cop-out

Chased after your heart
Twenty years to no avail
That was so not fun

Wanting approval
Judgement indifference stings
Take back the vows please

To lose a great love
For hoarding your acceptance
Seems tragic to me

Compliments were due
On such niceties as this
Hearts may rise or fall

I so disagree
That I’ve deserved such disdain
But you did your worst

The reason I cheer
Your years of bad behavior
Affect me no more

I do forgive you
How sad your uncontrite heart
Forfeited you mine

I step forward here
Despite that you’re not sorry
And that you blame me

Joylessness goodbye
You had your 15 minutes
So linger no more