Go On, Record

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For the record
And all the ’70’s vinyl we thrifted for those Saturdays as downtowners

For the turntable we excitedly found
And the way we felt our world spin and spin with it over and over again

For the record
Go on record
To say

You neither had a beach in mind
Nor the white dress for me you described
No thought for a home for us, at all

None lyrical love notes did you ever produce

We were just spinning
As broken records do
Over and over
Until you were over us



Tall & Lovely

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Ahh, the girl from that January beach
Walking past those who shroud themselves in grey
Unchoosing to see
How each simple step they ought take
Means a chance to dance

But in my mirror I see her, whether January or June
I see me, swaying in syncopated rhythm
Barefoot
Embracing time these past months
Finally never alone

Original Thought Credit: “Garota de Ipanema;” Vinicius de Moraes, lyricist

Future Selves

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Strung, as crystalline beads
On a fine gold thread
Our days
One by one together
We charted a more kind pattern
Planned

Colors, something beautiful
All our own
To be complete
Tied with an unbreakable knot
This time
Worn boldly and proud

But for the masked marauder
Disguised as difficult conversation
Arriving in broad daylight
Ripping this treasure from us
A new family heirloom
We’d have created

Wordgirl

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It will disappoint you to find, today I have nothing to say to you

Except that I am healing

And I’ve hung a do not disturb sign on my heart, so to that end, beside my bedside — a candle that smells like the sun

But too, our beach and the suntan lotion I smoothed onto your skin well over a year ago

Well into the midnight hour, it burned, and I felt like the irresponsible teen-aged girl I was when we met

Read: Carefree

Good timing, for today is to be an unseasonably warm December day

Without a coat, I’ll work out the difficult feelings while out in the yard, raking one last time before the snow flies

When the last of those magnolia leaves fall later this coming week, I won’t give a damn

I’ll be busy recalling the days when you cared to caution me to please drive safely in the snow

You didn’t want to lose me to accident or injury — you’ve forgotten that, but I forgive you

Silently in my head, I pray these days for your safety too, knowing you never thought much of my prayers

Or my help

Or my written and spoken and demonstrated sentiment

Or my too-small home, where I tried to keep us well

And Christmas is coming

And you won’t be here

And I may mail you a gift and a card, because, after all, I love you more today than I did yesterday, or the day before

My gift and my card would convey this, plus give you one last opportunity before year’s end to ignore again my olive branch

I’m looking forward to the coming decade, despite that it’s looking like I won’t know you then

About your birthdays, I’ll still celebrate them

I woke up at 2am to tell you, I have nothing left to tell you that I’ve not been sure to have already said

A wordgirl gone reluctantly silent with you

Accept that I am healing