Our chartreuse-colored love
The ugly chair now, that we don’t wish to sit in or admit brought comfort, respite
Nor will we throw it away
We mourn it in the kitchen like a death
Seemingly forever, while surrounded with casseroles of comfort food brought to us by well-meaning “friends”
We watch it as an epic film of someone else’s life
Sitting in the dark, screaming at the screen, warning of their err, fall from grace, then trauma
We escape it with our wanderlust-filled travels near and far
Photographing nature, plus wild wildlife who in-turn, chase us as we sleep, pseudo-nightmares that wake us at 3am
We do this
You, there, and me, here
Silk and brocade-covered hardwood frames we were and we are
Camaraderie and adventure that was to have brought us peace
Closure to the aching
What color was it initially, before the fade, we ask ourselves over and over
What we know for certain — it was an heirloom love
Before the spit up and sweaty workaday clothes soiled it
Before the pained animals in us tore it to shreds
Before our childhood loneliness, unresolved, relegated us to our corners in our fifties — upper lips bloodied, both of us
Walking attachment disorders, detached by default, from each other
All in one, single day
Eventually, we go to the curb with this shredded chartreuse thing
Pack up and move far away
Looking from the rear-view mirror at what was, we draw others’ ire as we drive too-slow down that road
It is always dusty Summer in our hearts’ mind’s eye
I see you tucked away, there in the corner of this epic adventure.
A stowaway undermining, under the guise of love and concern.
I come for inspection, to work, and for respite every couple of days and we lock eyes.
With your back to me, and a mirror before you, I watch you watch me plead hello.
There’s a reason you do not respond to my greetings until the awkwardness becomes too thick to ignore me anymore.
You’re stealing and hoarding and leveraging me and what’s mine.
The awesome view from on high.
The space I’ve created to just be.
The aura I emit.
My ample supply of lust and cinnamon breakfast cereal.
My apathy in attending properly to it all.
Until yesterday, when the doorman warned me, so gracefully, you must go.
More precisely that I must say to you.
When you’re here, you’re not yourself, thus this means it’s time.
The Welcome sign at my doorstep you’ve taken far too far, my friend….
It was never meant for you, you know, I see.
Sin and God told me.
Bible in a pile
Way back there, in the backseat
By balloons -prey tell?
The Scene: You are an actor and I, an epic script
With minds to set the screen afire
With hope upon our lips
The Method: Be emboldened and feel the risk with me
We’ll project timeless, endless strength
We’ll cast doubt to the sea
Of epic, inhuman error
That looks more like betting the house on a whim
Than burning the breakfast toast
As if the gods had prodded
While I, fresh out of faith, felt forced to obey
Lest my heart be finally ripped from me
And my body thrown down the temple stairs
I’ll pretend I don’t know nothin’
You pretend you’ll set me straight
That somehow I’ll know somethin’
You were bid down under
To be taken down under
And be taken with the down under
Only to emerge
Having seen the tapestry
From below and above, in full
You were chosen to taste fear
To digest metal
That your feet would seek magnetic North
I, the storyteller in training
You, the epic tale
We, one mind, two hemispheres
Would be Stephanie
A love I didn’t know I needed
A friend from a Friend
For, what are true friends for?
Would have gifted me
A kind word
A wise word
Both since otherwise elusive in my world
For, looking back, what did I expect?
Steph, we’d have called her,
Would be a poem -nay, is a poem
A poem and sister to a brother
A work of art with no end, they are
Both Epic story-songs
For, hear thou, their lyrical air?
Would be safe from me now
A sword of truth having pierced my soul
A prayer of forgiveness asked
Both to self and sin, I desire to die
For what, but abandonment, is there?
Would be thirty soon
A soul eternal
A girl, a woman
For, ‘tho I don’t deserve, why too am I?
On the way to midnight
Honestly aren't you tired
The hair on her
The mess on him
The should have knowns and unknowns
The old film reels replay
All the while they don't care
One dimensional grins
As your epic fizzles
And fades to black