It is being noticed, when you were standing alone, certain that the world was spinning but you were just here for the ride -or why else would you have grown to believe with absolute certainty that you’re invisible, without a reflection or the proof of a shadow- never having been looked at or looked for, during all the looking you’ve done…during all the helping you’ve done.
It is being helped, when you’ve only ever been the helper, parentrified at a tiny age -having done a damn good job at raising all the youngers who had no one else, and the olders who let you- and you look around, exhausted, spent and no childhood to show for it (just vague memories of kittens and roller skates and scars from some stitches you needed for cuts you earned trying to lift others out) and you now need a helping, loving hand.
It is being loved, by first being shown, by One who’s perfect, that you are accepted…by One who shouts throughout the heavens and Earth your worth…by One who bursts into your aloneness, touches your scars and redeems you from that place of invisibility and arrestedness…by One who delivers you from the sins you had to commit out of survival…by One who dies for you, because if you’re to fully understand your worth and become redeemed, that’s what is needed.
It is being needed, and knowing it is OK to need -since you are actual and not invisible, human and not God- and, deciding you have arms and time and heart to give, you’ll never again be diminished or depleted, for you know now your value and limits and you’ve found one who knows theirs, and there’s the give and the take extended, intended to honor you both.
Waging with all heart a war
Pursuing a day that would never be
Offering the honor
Of a fair and good Fight
With bowed eyes I lay
Down my sword, down
I will share on the eternal until ashen
That you know as fact and not rumor
Your care, your voice, your very soul
Are not cordially, but most personally invited
And the honor or your presence requested as necessary
An inaudible promise and sigh
The most solemn tears
Necessities thrown to the floor
Secrets exposed now to light
Because of the understanding reach
A moment with heart held in the hand
One hesitant step as if to make sure
The thought to retreat
A kiss where fragile greets harsh
Eyes bowed in great honor
Yes to just you
Remind me your name
Let us dress fancy
Strut down grand stairways
Dance in the dust of once-hallowed halls
Both end up barefoot with no news of our shoes
Yes I’d be honored
Remind me your name