Wherefore in my dreams
Parsing out and making sense of my disobedience days
Moving at wrong hours through constructs of old, breath held, so as to remain unnoticed
Down hallways, past ghosts that do not think they’ll remember me this time around
All the while wishing for my new best friend,
I look for you
Find you perhaps
Then lose you again, for certain?
I speak for the masses
The sides of me inside of me
The arrested phases that do not know how to grow
The girl who grew, too tall too soon
Somewhere in there, a woman walks
Head held high, chin and forehead gently jutted
To the sun, she says
And she does
She does love
To do, to be
She questions me
To lead in love
That gives me pause
First steals my breath, then intuits me to question her back
What of the times you sought to love, to befriend
To be a friend, although in need?
They knew nothing of love!
Friendship foreign to them, they offered an attack
An inevitable abandonment
This is life, and you cannot opt out
You cannot, too, jump ship
You cannot not love, friend
She says to me
She strides onward
To the sun
I suppose that you are made of stealth pilot stuff
You see me as commanding from strong eagle wing
I’ll prove how your heart is stronger for its freefall
You affirm my pain-filled flight has not stolen hope
Close your eyes.
Lick your pencil tip.
Now draw me. From memory.