One warm tear after another
Fell shocking me after I’d whispered my name aloud in some man’s voice I no longer know
Tears as heavy diamonds, flawless and innocent, from my right first then my left
Each with the viscosity needed to let love flow through this muscle-car I call my heart
This, coldest of winter’s night
If suffocation and the longest darkness remain
Be unbound, dear sister.
If shame and the fear of whispers pervade
Be as a giant, precious brother
Stay my best friend, I will stay yours, this only we will know
Feel air returning, own your height, live in peace and grow
Let’s try this again
Let me hold what protects you
Let time take its time
Proof I wasn’t broken when we met
I loved unguarded
Neither life vest nor safety net entered into the equation of me plus you
I just trusted my breath and followed the man who’d stolen it from me
I trusted
Not knowing you couldn’t
Never expecting you’d studied me, unwilling instead to blindly follow wherever your heart might take you
I was a calculated move for you
Where did that get you but gone
And I can no longer breathe
Some gravitational pull
Or easterly mysticism
Compelled my travels
I had to go to Planet X today
What promised to be a meditative thing
Instead left me
I, now with mere baubles and defunct space junk
Re-entry burned me
The landing gave me new perspective
The Earth is indeed flat
Love is always light-years away
There’s no cadence to this
Additionally, I admit I awaited it
The other shoe to drop
It was me, my fault
Believing too big always
The ’72 Nova Super Sport
Traded before I became of age
The certainty I saw in unions
Disproved before my very eyes
Muscle cars and you and me
Crashed before together began
All the nonsense to receive
Mantas and tenets rising up
Ancient foundations to revere
What architects are responsible?
Live right, I accept
Love well, all the more
But call me not lover for a season
God didn’t build me to let go
If He tells me He did
I’ll tell Him He’s a liar
Do you, as I, daily perform an unending juggling act with the hours, grasping at fleeting minutes, feeling, by sundown, famished for time?
Who of us doesn’t wish to artfully turn the wretched clock into origami art that would sit silent and still on the wall and evidence beauty instead of lack?
Were it possible, I would wave my surely magic arms, and weave into the moments a stop gate, then take eternity to tell you, thank you, you were right, and I love you.
Count yourself among the many
Who do not care to consider my midnight musings of any value
To know my heart-wrenching pleas for your return
Sent unrequited out
But what you need know
My last diary entry was a mid-summer date
Immediately before the fireworks, but after my hope expired
Your birthday, baby
LisaRosier.com 