This Cup

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I’m learning how to cry in deep despair and pour my blessed hot coffee at the very same time

Pain and gratitude in the same cup, indeed

I’m becoming better at praying goodness for others at my broken heart’s expense

Love and sacrifice from the same vein, it frees

I’m deciding to live with the dread of the box I was put into and with hope that I’ll one day be free

Abuse and healing in the same lifetime, glory

Perpetuity

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Theater of the absurd

You, an understudy into perpetuity, and not a soul who will say why

Though they know

Sworn to silence by some darkness, by some angel

Enter they, the arena, to take their places, their cues

Applaud, then heckle, then leave without a fight, or even debate

Sleep

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I fear the night knows I slink at its entrance, cowering quietly in its presence

I vacillate between prayer and submission, hysteria and acquiescence

I sleep fitfully, sporadically, the night sky screaming at me

I awake thirsting and alone, wanting back more than lost sleep

Goodbye Convention

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Disallowed to feel; love or lust or hope or trust, this is how I feel.

Discouraged to want; kindness, presence, endless laughter, this is what I want.

Disinclined to think; hope is dead, no heart, all head, that’s no way to think.

Thirty Percent

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A fence may draw the eye, asking, will you act as friend?

What when we keep the Others out, what will that make us then?

Can’t we, won’t we alter fate of each whole soul, alike;

A fence with strong and welcome gate, a fence not stained by white.

Again With Gravity

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Happiness takes its leave

Executed

As a tablecloth trick

By an amateur

Sudden

Noisy

Hope, desire and promises

As silver, crystal and china

Lose

Clashing again with gravity

The guy in the bow tie

His lovely assistant

The only half-expectant spectators

Shake their heads

Murmur something and linger

But they do move on

The curtain falls

Only I remain

Needing to know

What went wrong

Who’ll clean up this mess

Am I the only soul

Who stood in earnest?