In the evening, I sat out, well beyond 8:58
The front porch shadows shielded me
That I might pretend
My bedtime hadn’t come and gone
The smile in my telephone-voice wasn’t masking a mom’s tortured heart
Acceptance would come and those few miles away, would prove okay, someday
Hood ornaments on passing trucks did in no way devastate
This wasn’t the calm before the storm
The temperature wouldn’t dare drop, degree by degree, with each sip of my sleepy-time tea
The gardens weren’t soon going to hell
My choice to survive hadn’t offended my God
Tomorrow, no one would know
I am not God
But I know a truth
So I will say what
Let us recreate Woman
What the divine image!
Be she blessed
Let us grant her dominion
See these creatures
In need of a fruitful goddess
Let us know her abundance
Let us call her good
Let us rest
Do you remember, before you were born, child, how I was sad a lot, for I, back then, was always the other?
While he, in utmost civil tongue, talked and laughed hard with others and shouted and murdered and silenced the me
I talked to you, “It is okay.” and God would keep us and we three would always, always, always have eachother
God danced with us and I with you when no one else would dance with me…there was always and always another
Why then, the pool of flesh on the floor?
Why then, the hearkening back
Again and again and again?
Linoleum and helplessness
The feel of it all
On my knees
My shoulders, still
A Mother’s love
It’s why I breathe, still
What is the name of that road? The spirit and purpose of it? The one we approach, day in and day out, without hesitation?
Familiar with the smell of it, the distractions, attractions and tourist traps along the way, but unsure, in the dark, where to turn when it’s time, finally time, for a rest stop.
Trust, we must, the touch. The feel of our wheels we were gifted, from The Road of all roads, The Mother.
I’m telling your Mother
That she should not feel less than full delight
The pouring out of her heart, the raising up of her prayers
Now comes you, feet firm, breaking rules and records ‘neath the firmament
With kindness and heart-strength -look at how you look at us
We, treasure to you and reasons to hope, so you come close to learn
Simple and virtuous, your needs
Unafraid to speak from love, write of love, to be and die for love
Lovely Mother, you’ve lived Right, you have not squandered Light
See here, your beacon, your boy
With what gloves do you handle
The one who wonders at you
What pieces of your heart do you hold
For her alone
Will you rise to all she knows you are
And meet her at her pace
Catch her if you can!
With what boots do your walk upon
The one who provides for you
What segment of your sinew do you share
For her creatures
Will you champion her air and terroir
And give your dying breath
Back from whence you came!
She a girl
Who understood a heart
Who served her Master
Who trembled in fear
Who on her knees