O, Northern Neighbor
Sanctuary, please, my soul
Cometh thund’rous day
Never received an I’m sorry
Never did hear a hello
Never was asked, “Please be with me”
Never a warning you’d go
You wouldn’t think that I’d still care
You didn’t mind how it pained
You live a life now half empty
You will not know me again
My gift to you, Sir
I forgive that you failed me
My gift to myself
We were tired
Eager to see whether we could slip off our shoes
Unleash the day in a most irresponsible manner
Letting exhaustion have its way
And, behold!
It was okay!
Morning arrived in its happy manner
Offering another chance to sing and smile
To brave the wind, stare at the sun in wonder
Then find contentment again at day’s end
What justice do you come in seek of
That I’d admit my guilt
My foolery
How I failed in my duty to know what I didn’t know
A detailed confession, then
I sat in err, from nearly the start
Took what wasn’t mine
Gave too much away, too soon
Believed I was privileged in prayer
A hypocrite before you with a bias I wanted kept secret
Nothing not already evident
Off the mountaintop
More oxygen to these wounds
Less surprise attacks
Who now is thirsty for tomorrow?
I am! I am!
While my immersion in the moment allowed the universe to gift me with one Delighted poet
Happy for him whilst pushing through my pain
I am in love with now’s sorrow
Shall I claim it again?
I am thirsty for tomorrow!
It will disappoint you to find, today I have nothing to say to you
Except that I am healing
And I’ve hung a do not disturb sign on my heart, so to that end, beside my bedside — a candle that smells like the sun
But too, our beach and the suntan lotion I smoothed onto your skin well over a year ago
Well into the midnight hour, it burned, and I felt like the irresponsible teen-aged girl I was when we met
Read: Carefree
Good timing, for today is to be an unseasonably warm December day
Without a coat, I’ll work out the difficult feelings while out in the yard, raking one last time before the snow flies
When the last of those magnolia leaves fall later this coming week, I won’t give a damn
I’ll be busy recalling the days when you cared to caution me to please drive safely in the snow
You didn’t want to lose me to accident or injury — you’ve forgotten that, but I forgive you
Silently in my head, I pray these days for your safety too, knowing you never thought much of my prayers
Or my help
Or my written and spoken and demonstrated sentiment
Or my too-small home, where I tried to keep us well
And Christmas is coming
And you won’t be here
And I may mail you a gift and a card, because, after all, I love you more today than I did yesterday, or the day before
My gift and my card would convey this, plus give you one last opportunity before year’s end to ignore again my olive branch
I’m looking forward to the coming decade, despite that it’s looking like I won’t know you then
About your birthdays, I’ll still celebrate them
I woke up at 2am to tell you, I have nothing left to tell you that I’ve not been sure to have already said
A wordgirl gone reluctantly silent with you
Accept that I am healing
See me
A junkie
Watery-eyed and shiftless
The voice in my head ruthless
Hope supply torn from my veins
Disoriented and in slow-motion
I know not what to do
But hunger and shake
And wait to be clean of you
Additionally, I admit I awaited it
The other shoe to drop
It was me, my fault
Believing too big always
The ’72 Nova Super Sport
Traded before I became of age
The certainty I saw in unions
Disproved before my very eyes
Muscle cars and you and me
Crashed before together began
