Seedling, Know

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“I love you with every bit of my heart,” and I went on and on

Some pleading to an audience of none

“You would’ve always been the only man for me. You renewed my hope and changed my life. I was so excited about us. We were going to love and take care of each other for the rest of our lives — yes? I was working hard to become a better version of myself….”

Then some seedling
Sown, thankfully
Sprung from beneath the freeze
Reminded me
In reality
Was and were and what would’ve been

Were as empty husks

A thorny nowhere, to which you dropped me

Fields of memories from some cliff you chose

This, my grain, my daily bread

Seedling, know, you saved the hour
Today I’ll reap none pain-filled breath

The Nile

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What
I’m thinking
You already know
This
I already know
What
You’re thinking

What
You’re wishing away
I already denied
This
You already denied
What
I wish away

Given all we think
And
What we know
Despite all we wish
And
What we deny
I cost too much

Ping Cha-Ching

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I can not hold your hand in public
I can only kiss you in the dark
I will want or must take you now
I will not risk my reputation for you
I wanted a supermodel
I wanted a life without the angst of you
I turn on you and bleed ink onto paper
I turn a buck off your stopped heart

Dawned

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And then when dusk becomes inevitable
Denial becomes plain as day
Admit it we must
There are words that won’t be uttered
Tones of voice reserved for others 
Questions never to be asked
Surprises fade into midnight’s nothingness

Final Breeze

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I have love
For the sunrise
Of a place I’ve never seen
A place that doesn’t know my eyes exist
But believes they must

It must be enough that I wake daily 
With the vision of my beloved 
And not the warmth
When I feel the final breeze
I want none other light in my eyes