Wordgirl

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It will disappoint you to find, today I have nothing to say to you

Except that I am healing

And I’ve hung a do not disturb sign on my heart, so to that end, beside my bedside — a candle that smells like the sun

But too, our beach and the suntan lotion I smoothed onto your skin well over a year ago

Well into the midnight hour, it burned, and I felt like the irresponsible teen-aged girl I was when we met

Read: Carefree

Good timing, for today is to be an unseasonably warm December day

Without a coat, I’ll work out the difficult feelings while out in the yard, raking one last time before the snow flies

When the last of those magnolia leaves fall later this coming week, I won’t give a damn

I’ll be busy recalling the days when you cared to caution me to please drive safely in the snow

You didn’t want to lose me to accident or injury — you’ve forgotten that, but I forgive you

Silently in my head, I pray these days for your safety too, knowing you never thought much of my prayers

Or my help

Or my written and spoken and demonstrated sentiment

Or my too-small home, where I tried to keep us well

And Christmas is coming

And you won’t be here

And I may mail you a gift and a card, because, after all, I love you more today than I did yesterday, or the day before

My gift and my card would convey this, plus give you one last opportunity before year’s end to ignore again my olive branch

I’m looking forward to the coming decade, despite that it’s looking like I won’t know you then

About your birthdays, I’ll still celebrate them

I woke up at 2am to tell you, I have nothing left to tell you that I’ve not been sure to have already said

A wordgirl gone reluctantly silent with you

Accept that I am healing

Love, Lisa

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If the Earth did turn, that the Sun seemed to rise this morn’
Just as sure as I wrote these words
You are not alone now

If you awoke, however dehydrated and aching
Let these words quench your need
I love you, turn with me, rise with me, thirst and ache no more. I love you

Still Be

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Stepped outside
It’s still enough
Breezeless
To allow me
My fragility

Impatiens still patient
Street lights still willing
At this hour
This darker season
Giving to me

Courage
Calm in my craze
Righted in this firmament
Glad for Sun and for Moon
Still

Brave the Sun

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Were you here
If you dared

To be beside
Me

As We
Careened too fast

Straightaway
Down some side street

I have traveled
Many times

And you’ve not

Would you
Summon courage

Brave the Sun
Look at me

And find yourself

Glad to notice
Remnants of
My morning coffee

Lingering, glistening
Upon upturned corners

Of my lips?

Said And Done

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I speak for the masses
The sides of me inside of me
The arrested phases that do not know how to grow
The girl who grew, too tall too soon

Somewhere in there, a woman walks
Head held high, chin and forehead gently jutted
To the sun, she says
And she does

She does love
To do, to be

She questions me
To lead in love

That gives me pause
First steals my breath, then intuits me to question her back

What of the times you sought to love, to befriend
To be a friend, although in need?
They knew nothing of love!
Friendship foreign to them, they offered an attack
An inevitable abandonment

This is life, and you cannot opt out
You cannot, too, jump ship
You cannot not love, friend
She says to me

She strides onward
To the sun

circa

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I met you
Through some avenue
In a trip around the sun
That always seems to shine on time

On a whim
Supernaturally
Light of my nine lives
For what purpose is certain

Clover Inside

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The let-go girl, I tell you
See her, be her
Lest they make certain you’ll wish you were her
Your time for helping about
For tending clover, for being home
Gone, then
Wilted, without having seen the sun
Cancelled, before commencement
So plant your smile inside you now
Let go, girl

“The Currency of Grace”

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Surprised to see the a.m. sun
Afire
Shining through
The door I’d forgotten I’d opened
Left open
To remind myself I’m alive
Praise

A part of this world
Apart from this world
And out of this world, too

Anyway, first, foremost
Tending to all the green
I thought to stop, I felt ashamed
Guilt
For all I’m giv’n, undeserved
But, my friend told me the currency
Grace