Sometimes you’re certain
Signs say it’s safe to surface
Should they lie, survive
August alone again, prove me wrong
Dreams turned to nightmares
Out of the woods now, but strictly ill-willed attackers want me
Or — what I can give them
Still, every day, I show up
Smiling
Asking for more
Only arms-length adorers greet me
A bridge they must cross
All I am is a testimony
You can survive
Chaos
Abandonment
Doormatism
Abuse
Abandonment
Abandonment
Abandonment
We each do need to save ourselves
To move through
To move on, if we’re lucky
This picture
This paint, these colors, peeling
Won’t always be adhered to this wall
This wall won’t always be
Talk to me and I’ll talk to you
Scream if you need to
I sometimes do
Alone, on our own, for now
But someday we’ll talk with eachother
It’s what the sage says
Certain I’ve survived
Certain I’ve found my red shoes
Certain I’ve rocked you
In the evening, I sat out, well beyond 8:58
The front porch shadows shielded me
That I might pretend
My bedtime hadn’t come and gone
The smile in my telephone-voice wasn’t masking a mom’s tortured heart
Acceptance would come and those few miles away, would prove okay, someday
Hood ornaments on passing trucks did in no way devastate
This wasn’t the calm before the storm
The temperature wouldn’t dare drop, degree by degree, with each sip of my sleepy-time tea
The gardens weren’t soon going to hell
My choice to survive hadn’t offended my God
Tomorrow, no one would know
For the first time since the first time, I was presumptive
Those crickets!
Their song for me
Our mutual love of warm summer nights … and the reedy mid-day marsh….
For the second time since the first time, I learned
They were just crickets … being crickets
They chirp, they do not sing
They survive, they do not love
What to do
When love’s thrown at you with far, far, far less passion
Far less intent, than graffiti at a cinder block wall
Survive
Then come the wolves
One is all it takes to take you down, down, way, way down
To take your will, and leave you still with skin stone cold
Survive?
Isn’t it enough to send you
The notion
The gall
The balls of it all
What white coat ought you report to
‘Twas witchcraft
‘Twas lies
‘Twas dust in your eyes
All the hell you put yourself through
To know life
To thrive
To More Than Survive
Your mind has been a marvel
Since you’ve been alive
Imagining the fancy
Ways so to survive
But none of it was needed
And none of it is now
Conjure up the simple
And make a quiet vow