I’ve been fed…I’ve thrived.
I’ve been dared…I’ve risen up.
I’ve been promised…I’ve….
“Aqua Is My Learning Color”
I don’t remember much about Before except for all of it. And there was much good there…playing school, playing house, playing Lisa. But there was always the wishing…for calm, for kindness, for a Spanish guitar.
The time came, as it always, always will: Make a choice. Choose open eyes. Desire trust, peace and hope over only wishing.
The sting of tears comes more often than I’d thought it could. Learning does also. Learning to trust oneself and learning that peace is always present for the taking and giving. And Hope – the damned, beautiful Thing – it’s all I’m made of and it refuses to leave or be rationalized away.
I saw prettiness today. Its name is Lisa. Its name is Everywhere. And I sent for The guitar. Somehow water was involved.
Nameless, faceless and unable to throw away pieces
Of paper
To do so would be to discard one’s self
And the world doesn’t need anymore sadness
Keep them
The pieces
Keep them for dangerous notes, ideas of intrigue and little love messages
Out of the box and into my heart for safekeeping
Them
The pieces
And your name and that face
This morning I thought:
Can I write with a fever?
But really, I must.
Whatever the point
I’ve voices, stories in me
He directs my pen
You said use imagination.
Please. You said.
It was [ik-sploh-siv].