Kitchen Floor Musings

I plan to lament, to pity-party, to languish-unapologetic-like, the daylong, in regret and angst.

When dawn of some new era calls, I’ll hear it’s hearken, I’ll know it’s finally time I arise from the rain and fog.

‘Til that day, you’re cursed, Mountain, you’re soul-sold, Hollow, you’re a kind woman’s Relic and Shame.

Symphonic

I want
With the stroke of my pen, to strike you down
With the blink of my eyes, to unsee you

More importantly

I need
With the tools I surely possess, to repair my own heart
With the uncommon grace that is my sinew, to forgive you

X Y Zenith

Just this one more line
Just this one more time
But I would have drowned

If you’d meant to change
If it were the day
Strength you should have found

Boundaries are most real
Boundaries helped me heal
Cross none sacred ground

To Dad

I tried
Together to rip off the band-aid with you

To allow the city sun to shine upon the wounds we allowed others to inflict

Vitamin D for our tough-skinned inner-child

The parentified children we were
The superhero we each became

Heal with me, I shrieked to deafened ears
The same way we’d said it to dad

Heal for me

Divine Self

Certain and truthful
Your divine self
Not a deity
But still so damn divine
Super and powerful

And superpower filled

Finally and fiercely
Shall step in
Save the day and declare
You’re an unwounded warrior
Don’t you know?

Holding Space

Would that all who’d seen fit
To have been unkind to me
Have their childhood wounds healed

Here, look from my window

Flower and vegetable gardens
Fruit tree and fire pit
Baseball, my love, baseball

Ranking

Space, the enemy
Distance, a demon

Molecules collect between us, acting as some referee to our match
Banished to our corners before the fight begins

If these lacerations and these mangled bones, inflamed, remain this slow to heal
If Winter wishes to outrank

Then we want our angels

Bad Actors

So there he was
That three-plus decades-old ghost of a love-of-my-life
Did we frolic and promise
I can’t say
Because suddenly, there he wasn’t

Did I wail, unrelenting
Did I bargain
You’re proof of said sale

Virtual man
Band-aid boy
Slapped against my heart, for I wanted healing quick

I let you
Cut me lengthwise with such narcissistic tongue

With this new heartbreak, find me
Not wailing
Not bargaining

Just reflecting
Lesson learned, this
Motherfuckers like you come and go in waves if I let you

Grown woman, now
I heal good, so no next time

Dime a dozen, you, spy boy, and I’ve put away my pocketbook