Wordgirl

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It will disappoint you to find, today I have nothing to say to you

Except that I am healing

And I’ve hung a do not disturb sign on my heart, so to that end, beside my bedside — a candle that smells like the sun

But too, our beach and the suntan lotion I smoothed onto your skin well over a year ago

Well into the midnight hour, it burned, and I felt like the irresponsible teen-aged girl I was when we met

Read: Carefree

Good timing, for today is to be an unseasonably warm December day

Without a coat, I’ll work out the difficult feelings while out in the yard, raking one last time before the snow flies

When the last of those magnolia leaves fall later this coming week, I won’t give a damn

I’ll be busy recalling the days when you cared to caution me to please drive safely in the snow

You didn’t want to lose me to accident or injury — you’ve forgotten that, but I forgive you

Silently in my head, I pray these days for your safety too, knowing you never thought much of my prayers

Or my help

Or my written and spoken and demonstrated sentiment

Or my too-small home, where I tried to keep us well

And Christmas is coming

And you won’t be here

And I may mail you a gift and a card, because, after all, I love you more today than I did yesterday, or the day before

My gift and my card would convey this, plus give you one last opportunity before year’s end to ignore again my olive branch

I’m looking forward to the coming decade, despite that it’s looking like I won’t know you then

About your birthdays, I’ll still celebrate them

I woke up at 2am to tell you, I have nothing left to tell you that I’ve not been sure to have already said

A wordgirl gone reluctantly silent with you

Accept that I am healing

Said And Done

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I speak for the masses
The sides of me inside of me
The arrested phases that do not know how to grow
The girl who grew, too tall too soon

Somewhere in there, a woman walks
Head held high, chin and forehead gently jutted
To the sun, she says
And she does

She does love
To do, to be

She questions me
To lead in love

That gives me pause
First steals my breath, then intuits me to question her back

What of the times you sought to love, to befriend
To be a friend, although in need?
They knew nothing of love!
Friendship foreign to them, they offered an attack
An inevitable abandonment

This is life, and you cannot opt out
You cannot, too, jump ship
You cannot not love, friend
She says to me

She strides onward
To the sun

Undistracted

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I watched
You watch
The fleeting snow
Before it took its leave
You put down your go

What did it tell you
What it told me
That bruises aren’t all bad
That time heals
All things

We saw
The three of us
You, me and the sky
The blue-green in our eyes’ skies
Not one can predict us

Thermal 

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I want the Spring to redeem me
The Lake to heal me

I want salvation for my soul
My heart rinsed and made whole

I want the wild, wild to steal me
The West to bring me home

I want this at any cost
I’ve a dime and a half lifetime to spend

I Lied 

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The battle is twofold
And feels insurmountable 

Truth comes from the North 
And appears as the enemy

Illness attacks at Dawn
And the signal is giv’n

At these intersections, I must choose
And I conclude, I’ll live to fight

Befriend the enemy 
And let it slay hope at Dawn

Giving Her A Voice

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“You loved the best kind of man.
What more is there to say?”
she’d gently tell herself, 
I guess. 

“To possess the capacity to love,
is the surest sign of brilliance.”
I tempted her to see,
so she’d heal, and Conclude:

“You’ve a brilliant, unjaded heart. 
Your intellect made perfect sense
of him.” 
Be well, sweet One.