Against a barrage
(Away, far and away
From any fortress)
To an unprotected heart
I failed the test
I failed to say
You are enough
Though I calculated the cost
I knew to spend all I had and could borrow
To love like That
And that
And not that
A decision hungering for heart
The firstborn of its kind
Has left the mind
Ravaged
The World is pooled around me now
I notice more
And more and more this becomes
An opposite of what should be
There is no walking away
From this
So my mind is mad
At the courage of my heart
My
Undoing
Began at the beginning
Defending the should-be defender
All I gave, all it took
There it was, their rain
Always asking
Never, ever answering
I think I thought
It fed me to feed
Now I am fat of myself
And starved of them
What today’s might
Allowed me to keep only at bay
It is true
Tomorrow I will advance against
I will feel the tug
I will quickly taste of smite
I must stand
Born under some mandate
To remain flexed at the ready
But for this
As I am organic
Cracking apart, waning with each moment
I cannot stay
Staid
For this story
And to tell it
With due care and congeniality
I must sit
I found my eyes fixed
My jaw dropped
And guard down
In awe of the happy
The white linen
The leaping hair
The complete carelessness
While jumping on mattresses
Doll-play
Lasted all of three months
For me my friend
Declared abandoned
Once the pattern repeated
Once two many times
For me to ignore
How they toss her aside
From their box
And steal her pretty shoes
That I was never a crown jewel
Did me no harm
For under the pearl
I know I was birthed
There is though my anguish
My heartbreak from grey
For what reason my shroud
And his shame
Or are there cobwebs inside
Is the dream still alive
To let me see inside
To beg the moon
To the window pane
To plaster my aching face
To run then walk up
From here to there
To speed thru urban then country veins
I am consumed with the want
Now cracked by Creeping Charlie
Atop a concrete vast
Always remained empty
A shiny brick and glass box
An oasis to soothe the desert
The middle of rural elsewhere
When I’d hope for
I witnessed years ago
The barn-raining of sorts
Racing back to my mind’s insomniac eye
It is the middle of midnite
Here in the diamond city
The conversation amongst Creation
Ripples through the wood
Chip-chirp, hoot-whoo, back and forth
Speak they, then stop
Perched strong atop
The corner of their branches
To consider whether serving
As her a.m. alarm
Is worthy
Of their majesty
